The Most Loved

It's strange for me to sit down and type this out, because this is the first Morrissey blog I've written after losing my cat. I feel very lost without my little friend sitting under my desk and contentedly purring at my feet. For me, July of this year has been a month of despair. Thankfully, I have had some beautiful support from my Twitter friends, who I've met through our mutual love of Morrissey. I'm not sure where I'd be without them, or without him. There is a light that never goes out.

July has also had its glimmers of hope. On July 5th we had the announcement for the Manchester date. And - on July 26th Morrissey announced a 23-date World Tour that includes Asia, Australia, and the US.

Despair and hope.
Hope and despair.

Tour dates via TTY

I was certainly hoping for some US dates - which seemed like they may have been in the cards as Riot Fest was announced a few months back. I'd attend all the dates if I could - but as of right now I have my sights set on Reno and the 1st 3 Texas dates! With so many Texas dates there has been speculation that Morrissey may do a show in Mexico, and some of my Mexican friends are definitely hoping for that. We shall see.

I was also wondering if Moz might dust off some glorious country covers for these dates, especially as Waylon Jennings was born in Texas - his cover of Are You Sure Hank Done It This Way? is one of my favourites:

I'll be on the search for information about pre-sales and on sale dates for tickets... The ticket-buying part always gets my nerves on a rampage! I will be shattered and scattered, whereas some others will stretch out and wait til the last minute. Oh - to be so calm.  Good luck to everyone trying to get tickets.

In the meantime, to soothe my ever-raging nerves I should possibly go on the prowl looking for MORE cardigan photos. I'm beginning to believe they really are magical. On July 5th, directly after I posted a cardigan photo, the Manchester date was announced, and then this tour announcement appeared right after I tweeted 4 more stunning cardigan snapshots I'd come across (which I hadn't seen before).  You cannot imagine the sublimity of my excitement when I discover new cardigan photos... or, perhaps you can, judging by the fact I end up tweeting in all caps:

To be fair I do post a lot of cardigan photos of Moz... but for now I'm just going to believe they're lucky.  And my followers seem to also adore a good-looking man about town in a cardigan.

Speaking of photos, I've just downloaded Prisma and have been editing some photos of Moz with it. Here are two of my favourites so far:

To Me You Are A Work Of Art

Well, enough for now of the many, many distractions that lie temptingly in wait in the technological age.  I should really be working on practicing my German for Berlin; I downloaded a German app as soon as I decided to go.  Languages were my thing in school (numbers were NOT).  I've got a few phrases down so far (I think). That said, I'm sure nobody cares, but my German will likely be atrocious, because I'm very lazy....

For now, I'll leave you with the song I often used to sing to my cat, because he really was - and always will be - "The Most Loved":

Back On The Road

I realize it's been quite a while since I've last written on any of my blogs, which comes down to a myriad of reasons, including busyness, stress (I can never handle it), and the dread writer's block. All I've really written in that time is a poem that doesn't dare show its face anywhere. Funnily enough, one of the only things that seems to alleviate stress for me - writing - I can't do because I am stressed - oh life, you and your silly tricks!  So that leaves the last blog I wrote to be over three weeks ago - a review of Aine's book, I Will See You In Far Off Places.  In that time, Morrissey has announced a tour date in - MANCHESTER!

Photo via TTY

I was absolutely not expecting this. Well - the night before there were some whisperings about possible UK dates but then one never wants to get too hopeful about rumours. So, you can only stretch out and wait, really...The very next morning (evening for nearly everyone else on my timeline) typical glum me decided to have a nap (one of my favourite escapist techniques) but first I wanted to tweet a nice photo of Moz as a bit of a pick-me-up:

Never question the magic of the cardigan.

I wake up an hour or so later realizing it's time to give my cat his lunch. That usual depression veil wraps itself around my mind as consciousness resumes.  But my cat is nudging me with his lovely furry face.  I casually check Twitter and - OH MY GOD - my heart nearly stops.  A UK date? I check True To You immediately.  I crumple my bleak sadness veil up into a ball and toss it into the corner of the room for a moment - A MORRISSEY DATE IN MANCHESTER? My friends are crying with excitement. I type nearly constantly in caps with them. I could care less if it's annoying; I'm excited. I open tab after tab after tab of cheapo-airline-econo-class sites and see if this is possible.  It should be. I just need to get a ticket. My hands are shaking - my pulse is racing and that blah "everything is pointless" numbness sitting on my soul lifts a bit (no, A LOT - I know I have been waiting for this). I have plans to make. I book hotels near the venues: I decide I should try to do Berlin as well.  I just need to get my concert ticket: I know the UK doesn't seem to do print-at-home. Our post is on strike - Oh Canada. My beautiful friend Olivia agrees to try to get one for me. More tabs, maps, places to see - the cemetry, Salford Lads Club, the Iron Bridge.

Then - ticket sale day - I check the website - it seems like there are no general admission right away - spinning wheels, frozen pages. Not available. My arms have that anxiety-veins-full-of-ice-water sensation. My heart stops. Nervous nausea. Did they sell out that fast? Morrissey may not have a record deal as far as we know but he can sell out one of the biggest indoor arenas in Europe in moments.  I wait.  Then the tweet appears - Olivia has gotten the tickets - she's a ticket angel!  In England it's 9:15 a.m.  Where I live it's 1:15 a.m. I want to scream-sing Rubber Ring - dance - everyone will wake up.  It takes me until at least 3 a.m. to find ever-elusive sleep, or for it to find me - but this time I don't mind.

Moz is Greatest Mancunian, with seemingly-obligatory "Heaven know's he's miserable now" reference

I'm still buzzing as I write this. I've got most of my trip booked and have started my pre-trip errands. Lots of people want to see me (why? I wonder) - and I want to see them (how uncharacteristically not-so-misanthropic of me).  I'm going to do Berlin too.  I've never been to continental Europe before - I know how to say red wine in German now: Rotwein - which is something. The Tempodrom looks like an amazing venue.

The Tempodrom in Berlin

I've decided to get some notebooks to carry around on my trip. I often type notes into my phone when I want to write things down, but in light of my recent writer's block, and just because I do adore the sensation of holding a book, I thought I'd pick some up yesterday.

Tour notebooks

According to Mando's Instagram - there will be some new songs!

In the meantime, I can't stop thinking of how it feels when Morrissey walks on stage.  It's been almost a year now since the first time I saw him. It was in Seattle. A ferry ride or two away from where I live. I stood on the painted-black car deck watching the ship cut through the deep blue ocean - making white foam shoot up - the faint mist droplets touching my face. Was this really coming true? I'd had a hard year - some hope and some despair. I remember he walked out with the band - he was bathed in gold light and I couldn't believe it was him - in the flesh. There were thousands of other people in the room - but somehow it felt like just he and I. He saved my life - and I was here - and he was here. The band launched into Suedehead, and Moz leaned into the audience and stuck his tongue out. It feels like forever ago - it feels like moments ago.  And after that I managed 9 more shows in about 5 months.

I can't wait for another journey to begin <3

Book review: I Will See You In Far Off Places

I Will See You In Far Off Places:
Áine Ní Cheallaigh
Capsule Press, Beacon NY
2016

I Will See You In Far Off Places: A Memoir of Following Morrissey's 2015 South American Tour

Following Morrissey on tour, even for just a few shows, is likely to be one of the most emotional, memorable experiences of your life. So imagine embarking on a journey through South America, when you are not familiar with the languages, for nearly two months, to 12 Morrissey concerts in seven countries. That's what Áine and her wife Nora set out to do last November.

I've been lucky enough to meet both Áine and Nora on some of our mutual travels to see Morrissey in the United States and the UK, so when I heard Áine was writing a book about their South American adventures, I couldn't wait to read it. Normally answering a knock at the door is something I'm not too thrilled about, but when my review copy of I Will See You In Far Off Places arrived by delivery, I gleefully answered, tearing into the packaging to discover a truly lovely addition to any Morrissey fan's collection.

Front cover

Back cover

The book itself is a nicely-sized paperback with a soft-brushed feel to the black cover, featuring a photo of Morrissey (taken by fellow Moz concert-regular Alyssa) mid shirt-toss, wearing a Brazilian flag wrapped around his waist. Inside there are many more black-and-white photos, accompanying the story of Áine and Nora's sometimes daunting, often inspiring adventures throughout South America. Each chapter is organized by show (city and date). The book is 238 pages and is in a very comfortably readable font, and is also available on Kindle.

Reviews can be tricky to write, especially if the a book evokes a strong response, because the temptation is to start babbling away about the whole work in fits of excitement and enthusiasm with the ever-pressing fear of giving too much away.  I Will See You In Far Off Places is absolutely a book that will elicit an intense response - with its magnetic weave of humour, adventure, and the emotional whirlwind of seeing Morrissey on stage, and Áine should be proud of capturing these experiences with a liveliness that is the next best thing to being on tour with Moz yourself. 

I devoured the book in one day.

The description is lush, detailing the traveller's fascination of visiting far-off countries - capturing deliciously that feeling when you've just stepped off the tarmac and engulf yourself in the vibrancy of a new city or country, with all of the accompanying excitement and insecurities. Áine's voice carries through, somehow comfortably conversational yet profound all at once, describing the beauty of nature and animals (monkeys will play a role), the smog and grit of city-life, and of course, the emotional journey itself.

And few journeys are quite as emotional, as my fellow Morrissey lovers will attest, as seeing the man on stage, baring his soul, his passion, his emotion - and Áine, throughout the book - captures the breathtaking essence of this. As a relatively new fan of Morrissey myself, I could relate to how it felt for the author to discover him a little later in life - how timing is everything - and that desire to exist solely in that moment when he appears on stage, and imprint it on your heart and mind. We come from all walks, and some of us have followed Moz since his Smiths days in the 1980's - others, much more recently - but each time Morrissey walks on stage, he offers his very human vulnerabilities and strengths: his pain, his isolation, his heart, his humour - and every time, be it the first or the hundredth show we've seen - it's unique; he touches the soul.  Áine brings the core of this experience to life with words.  

Oh - and then there's everything on concert days leading up to the moment Morrissey appears on stage. How vibrantly the author captures that too: from queue lists, to ticket scanning incidents, to the highs and lows and uncertainties of waiting in line, to the grasping grapple for a coveted spot on the barrier. You will nod in agreement if you've been there - and if you haven't - you will feel as if you are living it with Áine and Nora.  

At risk of giving too much away, which I'm always in fear of doing, I'll just point out some standout moments: the mutual isolation and uncertainty after the Paris attacks, the connection of our souls through art, and the sometimes humorous, other times rigorous mishaps of travel, to name a few. Also, the author describes a little about the 9-Type Personality Enneagram (she and Morrissey are both Type Fours) which is truly fascinating stuff as it demystifies a lot about personality and relationships. I had the pleasure of discussing this topic with her once while queuing for a Morrissey concert in Hull (discovering I am also a Four) and things just make so much more sense once you look into it.

Morrissey in Argentina, 2015. Photo by Ginger Shortcake, via TTY

The highlights of the 12 concerts are painted vividly for us - from handshakes, to the music, to the internal, eternal process of healing: the self, the heart, the mind, and grief. Áine explores how we see ourselves in Morrissey - and perhaps, just perhaps, how he sees himself in us, his audience: reflections of one another - embracing that it is okay to be human - and all that entails - as we walk through every insecurity, isolating moment, and hoping moment that occurs. As Áine so beautifully expresses, "Often, looking up at him on stage, he was simply my heart."

I Will See You In Far Off Places is about taking risks and chances, and diving into life. As Oscar Wilde once wrote, "To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all." In her memoirs, Áine reminds us of what it is to embrace the moment.

Amazon US Link: https://www.amazon.com/Will-See-You-Far-Places/dp/1533546444/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1466472395&sr=8-1&keywords=morrissey+far+off+places

Amazon UK Link: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Will-See-You-Far-Places/dp/1533546444/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1466472990&sr=8-1&keywords=morrissey+for+off+places