Top Ten Morrissey Moments 2019

What are the Top Ten Morrissey moments of 2019?

Morrissey at the Hollywood Bowl

I am relieved to be finished with the extent of my holiday visiting, and, not being the hugest fan of Christmas, happy to see the virtually inescapable decorations and Xmas tunes – thrust upon us while Halloween’s howls still echo - packed away for another year. It’s a little startling to realize that the 2010’s are drawing to a close, and I will soon be entering my 5^th decade on this planet... eek! Throughout the folds of this past decade, I have experienced some of the greatest joys and sorrows I have known, have travelled to places I never thought I would visit, and have met many new friends from all over the world. It was also during the 2010’s that I found Morrissey and his music, and I say with no exaggeration, this is by far the most beautifully pivotal discovery of my life. He has helped me through some of my worst times, and given me many of my best moments. I feel saved, enriched, and ... in spite of a few new wrinkles and aches as the daunting number 40 lurks – the most alive I have ever been.

The 2010’s were certainly momentous and fruitful for Morrissey, as he released 3 stunning studio albums: World Peace is None of Your Business, Low in High School, and California Son, published Autobiography and his first novel, List of the Lost, and toured North and South America, Asia, Australia, and Europe numerous times. And now... to focus in on the last year of this decade, I thought I would take this opportunity to reflect on some of the greatest Morrissey moments in 2019. My top ten is in no specific order, as I am far too enamoured to choose...


Let’s get started:

1. Morrissey returns to Canada

(okay, okay... this might be my personal favourite)

"Cana-dear I am here"
Morrissey in Toronto in April

2019 was a massive year for Canadian Morrissey fans, as Morrissey returned to Canada for the first time in 15 years. The 9-date tour kicked off with sold out shows in Toronto and Montreal, where Moz was showered with gifts, exuberance, and love. In October, the Canadian dates resumed, with Morrissey playing first time ever shows in Edmonton, Calgary, Saskatoon, and Winnipeg, and back to back sold out nights in Vancouver (his first time playing there in 22 years). It was amazing - and touching - to meet fans who have loved Morrissey since his Smiths days, waiting over 30 years, who were finally getting to see him sing in person. The tour also featured special Canadian merch, including a “Be Kind To Seals Or I’ll Cull You” t-shirt.

2. California Son

Morrissey holding a copy of California Son in Vancouver

On May 24^th, two days after his 60^th birthday, Morrissey released his 12^th studio album, California Son, an eclectic mix of 12 1960's and 70's covers originally recorded by North American artists such as Buffy Sainte-Marie and Phil Ochs. Morrissey captivatingly demonstrates his ability to stay true to the originals, while adding his own flair, and a modern, polished sound. California Son's opener is a glittering, ethereal Jobriath cover, Morning Starship, and the album continues with a blend of folk, protest songs, and love songs. The entire record is well-rounded, and provides a window into Morrissey’s influences and his incredibly good taste as a lifelong music fan. Highlights include his emotional and triumphant vocals on Orbison’s It’s Over, showcasing his stunning range, and a hauntingly beautiful cover of Melanie’s Some Say I Got Devil.

3. Morrissey’s First Broadway Residency

From May 2^nd to 11^th, Morrissey held a phenomenal 7 night residency at the Lunt-Fontanne theatre on Broadway. Fans from as far as Belgium, Japan, and Dubai travelled to be treated to an intimate live experience in the historic beaux-arts-styled venue, with Morrissey singing a diverse mix of songs ranging from the Smiths to current day. Every night weaved unique memories that elevated the heart, and Broadway was on fire with love for Morrissey for 10 delicious days.

4. Moz Fashion Moments

2019 was yet another year of incredible style for Morrissey, as he stepped out in a variety of dashing looks, including cut tees that show off his vegan physique and tailored embroidered suit jackets. Moz can rock both formal and informal pieces, and sometimes blends both to create his own smart casual fashion masterpiece. Some of my favourite style moments were undoubtedly the navy blue cardigan paired with the Meat is Murder tee in Philly at Non-Comm back in May, and the emergence of a brand new stage look for Moz: the vest (waistcoat), which featured on much of the North American tour, to my heart-eyed delight. Morrissey wears waistcoats with extra charm, perfectly selecting accessories such as rosaries and lapel pins to personalize the look. Other exciting fashion moments included vintage tawny trousers and a full-on green sparkly suit. Ultra handsome devil!

(cardigan photo by basia_ana)

5. North American Tour

Morrissey in Edmonton

From early September to late October, Morrissey toured the US and Canada with a 23 date tour (17 concerts in the US and 6 in Canada). At the US gigs, Manhattan based indie band Interpol opened for Moz. The triumphant tour played a variety of venues, from amphitheatre to intimate theatre to arena, and featured diverse setlists with rarities spanning all decades of Morrissey’s catalogue, including a number of covers.  Through North, South, East, and West, over thousands of miles covered, Moz and the band were in top form every night, and fans ecstatic. Check out Morrissey Central to see Mozzer’s Top Ten nights of the tour: 

https://www.morrisseycentral.com/messagesfrommorrissey/softly-as-i-leave-you

6. The Hollywood Bowl

"Sparkle, sparkle, sparkle!"

Morrissey’s North American tour culminated with a dazzling sold-out concert to adoring fans at the Hollywood Bowl, showing he is indeed California’s truest son. With a 23-song setlist showcasing gems from California Son, the Smiths, and the span of his solo discography, Morrissey mesmerized on stage at the glamorous venue with cord whips, outstanding vocals, and sparkling energy, even wearing a glittering green suit. I feel incredibly lucky to have been there, and Morrissey described it as “the best night of [his] touring life.”

7. Brilliant Setlists

Morrissey singing Seasick Yet Still Docked on Broadway

2019 saw some glorious setlists from Mozzer, with rare tracks and never-before-played-live songs blessing our ears. Newer numbers included first-times for California Son’s Morning Starship, Wedding Bell Blues, Lady Willpower, Some Say I Got Devil, and Days of Decision (debuted at the Hollywood Bowl) and Low In High School’s bonus track rarity, dark and penetrating Never Again Will I Be A Twin. I Won’t Share You made its first ever appearance on Broadway night 7, to tears and awe, and another Smiths gem, Girl Afraid, was played live in Montreal for the first time since 1984. Morrissey sang a number of solo treasures, including Satan Rejected My Soul (first time live in 22 years), I Am Hated For Loving (first time in 19 years), I’ve Changed My Plea To Guilty and You’re Gonna Need Someone On Your Side (both first time in 12 years) and Why Don’t You Find Out For Yourself  and Seasick, Yet Still Docked (both first time in 10 years). Divine!

8. Hairdresser On Fire – More Moz Style!

Morrissey showing off longer hair in Houston

To the surprise of almost every fan, Morrissey stepped out for his fall tour with the longest hair he has likely sported since his teenage days. For a man who has since then always donned a short cropped quiff, this was undoubtedly a surprise, and also a gutsy style move... and can we talk about how much he suits the unexpected ‘do? He is positively dashing with the extra length! Although, to be fair, Mozzer is so iconically gorgeous that it shouldn’t come as a big shock that he can effortlessly pull off a number of looks. He looks ultra-handsome devil with the slightly longer grey locks, and the hairstyle exudes romantic hero, especially when paired with the waistcoat and unbuttoned shirt – oh my heart! I am wondering if the vintage music he's been recording for California Son provided some mane inspiration for the good-looking man about tour.

9. Morrissey Stands Up To Bullies

Morrissey wearing Fuck The Guardian tee in Hollywood

The British press is known to be parasitic and slanderous, and papers, particularly the Guardian, have tried repeatedly to defame Morrissey’s name. Whether you agree or disagree with Morrissey’s opinions on any matter, he is true to himself and is an authentic voice in a time when many are afraid to speak their minds. For these rags to write cruel, bullying articles exacerbates unease in unsettling times, and promotes “groupthink or else” attitudes. Morrissey is a unique artist with his own mind who has tirelessly campaigned for animal rights as a voice for the voiceless, and has also pushed against the grain of society's gender stereotyping and challenged our pre-conceived notions of the typical, extroverted, womanizing rock frontman's image. His art has helped those who are lonely, depressed, and/or outsiders in general feel less alone since the 1980s, and his intelligence and bravery to speak out encourage growth and discussion. Morrissey's quotes have been continually taken out of context by the media, and clickbait headlines have become the primary drive for spiritless and talentless journalists who have very little to offer to the world themselves, except for feigned outrage. Morrissey told them exactly how he feels at the Hollywood Bowl, wearing a Fuck The Guardian t-shirt. For anyone who has ever been attacked or bullied by others, this was inspiring, and – it’s also a symbol of the defiance that rock and roll and punk are all about. Stand up for yourself and your beliefs, and be true to yourself!

For more reading on how Morrissey has been a groundbreaking voice ahead of his time, check out Fiona Dodwell's article: Five Ways Morrissey Has Been Ahead Of His Time

10. New Album Announcement

Photo edit by me

Following his successful North American tour, Morrissey announced on Morrissey Central that a new studio album, I Am Not A Dog on A Chain, is set to be released in March 2020. The eleven track titles are:

Jim Jim Falls

Love Is On Its Way Out

Bobby, Don’t You Think They Know? (duet with Thelma Houston, first single)

I Am Not A Dog On A Chain

What Kind Of People Live In These Houses?

Knockabout World

Darling, I Hug A Pillow

Once I Saw The River Clean

The Truth About Ruth

The Secret Of Music

My Hurling Days Are Done

Very exciting times! For more information on the album visit Morrissey Central:

https://www.morrisseycentral.com/messagesfrommorrissey/new-morrissey-album

And finally, before I leave you, here is my favourite merch item of the year, the Canadian animal friends tee:

Happy New Year!

"It was a good lay, good lay"

The Uncaged Heart Pt 2: Morrissey in Edmonton and Calgary

I’ve zigzagged all over America, the UK, and even dotted a bit around Europe and South America, but for years much of Canada, my home country, remained untouched. This year, thanks to Morrissey, I had already visited Toronto and Montreal for the first time, and now, I would find myself returning to Edmonton and Calgary (it had been over 2 decades) and travelling to Winnipeg and Saskatoon, also firsts. No passport required ... Touching down in Edmonton at midnight, the airport stands nearly desolate save for a few dawdling late night passengers and parka-ed employees, as wintery blasts lash the sides of the building. Bemused, I notice a rather dystopic looking convenience store complete with slurpee machines located across from the baggage claim, as conveyors spit out luggage under eerie florescent lights.

Edmonton’s streets are lined with silvery trees casting down their leaves, and while the daytime sky is azure, chilled air invites smoky wisps of vapour when one talks. It's a long way from last weekend's San Diego palms. Walking, we pass signs for everything from used bookstores to nude table dancing "Chez Pierre", as magpies hop gaily from sidewalk to branch. Overhead, I spot a magpie balancing on a window ledge and snap a photo: the birds have lovely plump white chests and sleek black wings and I find them mesmerizing. “One for sorrow,” they say, but I never believe negative superstitions about animals.

Morrissey in Edmonton

Standing in the brisk evening air beside the brick of the venue, I feel electric anticipation charging through my veins: tonight is the first show of the fall Canadian tour, and I have a front row centre ticket. My cheeks ache from smiling. It’s unfathomable how I am somehow within the same human frame as I am at home: this typically lethargic, gloomy introvert now sees such sparkle to the world. It's nice to escape my cocoon of ughs, even if it's just for a little while.

As we race into the theatre past scarlet carpets and rows of seats, I am awestruck to discover tonight’s stage is very low, with no barrier. The microphone, standing elegantly right before me, seems virtually eye-level, which is of course an exaggeration, but I can’t recall being at a gig that feels quite so intimate. I drink a sip of wine to calm down, but nerves and bliss make my heart pound with untethered liveliness, and the spell cannot be quelled, as pre-show videos mount towards the longed-for moment Morrissey walks on stage.

What will he sing...? What will he wear...? What will he say...?  

“Canada-dear, I am here,” he leans into the microphone, to rapturous cheers. The band jumps energetically into the driving tempo of Suedehead, and stage lights flicker and flash. I’m nearly certain all breath has left me as Moz slashes the microphone cord, which, in a thrill almost touches me, and he twists and turns about the stage... “Why do you come here... and why... oh why... why do you hang around?” He is ultra close to us... I keep thinking, in wonder. Tonight he’s wearing a midnight-blue blazer accented with lapel pins, a white Morrissey t-shirt given to him by a fan, and dark wash jeans.

As Morrissey sings Alma Matters, he takes my hand in his, and in that moment all of life’s pains are washed away. It feels like a dream I could never have imagined during the hopeless hollows of my late 20’s and early 30’s ... and now mind, body, and soul are restored. Perhaps I never was alone... I just hadn’t found what speaks to me yet.

Moz is in a good mood, chatting between songs and even jokes about the slippery stage floor, “if I go a over t, by all means, laugh as hard as you like” before How Soon Is Now’s opening notes fill the theatre. He smells divine, like incense, and when he smiles, his eyes sparkle blue heavens under his dark, dramatic brows. Being so near is beyond surreal, and the entire energy of the night feels eternal. There is an added something to seeing him in my home country that I cannot quite describe, a combination of soaring spirit, and the grounded joy of sensing Canada's earth under my feet as I watch him.

Tonight’s setlist includes California Son covers, like piano driven number Wedding Bell Blues, Smiths songs, and Morrissey tracks spanning from Viva Hate until current day. There are a number of Quarry era gems like Munich Air Disaster, Irish Blood, English Heart, and First of the Gang to Die, and Morrissey’s voice and lyrics capture such a complex range of human emotion, from lamentation to defiance to longing – that it’s impossible not to find oneself transformed while watching him. 

“You may be tourists, you may be townies, you may live here, you may be passing through, so if you’re all those categories, this song is for you,” he dedicates, as the minor-chord poetry of Home is a Question Mark begins to dance in our ears. The yearning for “home,” or the feeling one has a place in this world, can be all-encompassing, deep, and even conflicting, and in this song I feel he expresses this sense of searching so well, down to the questions we ask ourselves. Morrissey continues to so eloquently describe what I’m going through – and ... again I know I’m never alone.

“So the news is – we are all animals... All, all of us are an-i-mals” he states, and this truth is frequently ignored by human animals, who continue to exploit non-human animals merely because they don’t speak the same language as us. Over my journeys, particularly through Canada, I will meet a number of animal rights activists at Morrissey concerts, from those who bear witness and provide the final - and only - moments of comfort and love to animals on their way to the unimaginable horror of slaughter, to those who campaign to end the cruel treatment of animals for ‘fashion’ by companies such as Canada Goose. I feel honoured to meet these warriors for decency, and as Bullfighter's opening trumpet notes sound against a backdrop of bullfighting, I long for a day when non-human animals are no longer savagely ravaged by inhumane humans.

Edmonton Encore

For the encore, Morrissey returns wearing a pale blue jacket embroidered with birds, and a white and red Bruce Lee tshirt. Speedway’s guitars grind powerfully, and he holds the microphone stand up high for the crescendo’ed opening, his voice softening, yet ever resilient for the quiet haunt of the verses. “and when you try to break my spirit, it won’t work, because there’s nothing left to break ... anymore.” And ... with the last flickers of light for the night, he throws his jacket off, then tears his t-shirt down the middle, dabbing its fabric on his handsome face and torso, and tosses the tee into the urgent depths of the crowd.

***

Lemmy the Beaver, our Canadian tour mascot, watches over us as we drive from Edmonton down to Calgary, alive with giggles and music. Outside, golden bales of hay and stretching fields dusted with snow roll by for endless miles, while magpies skip and flit from icy sky to frosted earth. Beefaroni truck guys zoom by every now and then, but Alberta also has a very up-and-coming vegan community, and it is always easy to find food. After a quick hotel rest to get ready, we are back waiting outside the next venue for Moz in Alberta, Round 2, donning our winter coats and boots.

Lemmy the beaver
Photo by @mischievousnose

While seated gigs provoke less panic-filled pressure at doors than standing shows, I am still overcome by the adrenaline-driven desire to run to the barrier, or in this case, to the stage itself. Part of this is, of course, ingrained after years of general admission concerts, where in a mix of endurance, will, and luck, every second counts, but I also know it’s because of the exhilarant joy of realizing in just a few hours, Morrissey will take that very stage waiting ahead.

“Near, far... yes I believe the singing voice must go on...” Morrissey sings, in homage to Canadian chanteuse Celine Dion, after appearing in a wash of golden light... and Suedehead rings its glorious notes up to the rafters. Always one to admire Moz fashion, I notice tonight he is wearing trousers in a shade of tawny fabric that exude vintage cool. The look is complimented by a charcoal blazer and a very pale pink dress shirt, open a few buttons to reveal strands of rosary beads around his neck. The mix of vintage clothes with newer items, to me, connects symbolically with his latest album, California Son, as he takes older tunes and makes them new again, adding his own flair. We are all pieces of our past, while existing in the current moment, and – as an aside... how much fun would it be to go look around vintage clothing and record shops with Morrissey?

Moz fashion in Calgary!

“Yes, I’m very happy, very happy. It will pass in a flash, it will pass in a flash, but I’m very happy,” Moz says, and then, after Wedding Bell Blues, he passes the microphone to a couple of fans in the front row, asking if they, too, are happy. He walks towards my side of the stage and for a moment, my breath catches as I think he might be passing the microphone to me, but it is to my friend, and I half wonder if I would have fainted had it been me.

The charging notes of defiant rocker I Wish You Lonely sound, but Morrissey stops the band, teasing that he will go to the bar now because the song's beginning shocked him so much... but then adds, “this time I’ll sing (cheers) and your job in life... is to smoke weed (giggles and cheers), stop watching the news, stop watching television, because it’s not very good for you; in fact, let me say this... and only this...whenever I have been in this country, I’m never invited on television, which is a compliment (clapping cheers) because when I allow myself to be dragged down... how wrong you are... tomorrow I’m on the prize is slight.”  I absolutely live for these snippets of wisdom and humour he imparts at live shows.

Crooning in Calgary

Accordion-laced Why Don’t You Find Out For Yourself describes the pitfalls of the music industry, and Moz sings with vigour, occasionally whipping the microphone cord against his hip while blue lights dance above. The lines, “don’t rake up my mistakes, I know exactly what they are... and what do you do? Well, you just sit there.” always strike profoundly, as... isn’t it so very true that those who offer absolutely nothing of substance themselves are often the most vocally critical of others. The Vauxhall song is paired well in the set thematically with If You Don’t Like Me, Don’t Look At Me, and Morrissey croons up to the chorus with velvety smoothness, then jabbing emphatically as he sings the title line, playfully adding “so don’t get your knickers in a twist” at the end.

"I love yous", cheers, outstretched arms, voices singing along. Alberta luffs you, Morrissey.

Red smoke billows throughout the air, and dark guitar riffs create knife-plunging atmosphere, and one feels transported to the damp echoing black back alleys of Whitechapel. Morrissey sways with the music, removing his jacket and whipping it to and fro like a dark cape. Crash into my arms... we sing along with him, our arms outstretched in adoration as he is engulfed in clouds of fog. During the guitar solo, he laughs a deliciously maniacal laugh, and we are further elevated into the divine.

Jack The Ripper in Edmonton

As theatre lights drop into darkness, we cheer for Morrissey's return, our eyes searching eagerly for his emergence from backstage, and my heart feels so happily bruised and open ... can you please stop time? Tonight for the encore, he is wearing the light blue birdie jacket with a canary yellow Bruce Lee t-shirt, and he walks up to the microphone and says: “we had a great time in Edmonton, we’ve had a great time here, so if you think I’m crying, I’m not. I’m leaking.” And the band roars into a rapturous version of What She Said and Rubber Ring, as lights dazzle rhythmically. The pit becomes a dance floor of leaping limbs and boundless energy and Morrissey moves across the stage with vitality, thrashing the microphone cord, and singing passionately... “and I need to cling to something...” People reach for him with last-chance-for-now yearning, and some pass him letters. As the final notes of the song fill our ardent ears, he tears his t-shirt off and throws the coveted fabric to the fervent crowd. By now, every slick of ice in frosty Alberta must be melted... and my soul ... it hops aloft with the magpies.

Calgary Concert Video via SER and The Southern Alberta Jubilee Auditorium:

Alberta magpie in action!

All photos by me unless otherwise noted. 
Special thanks to @basia_ana for video help

Review: The Uncaged Heart: Morrissey in Grand Prairie and Austin, Texas

Part 1:

You couldn’t get me out of town fast enough. Winding streets down to the highway drawled in a rush hour crawl and the airport remained a faraway prize. The early evening sky hung in looming confusion over rows of bland suburban houses, looking like a damp charcoal sweater. Still ... the evening sun battled its way through the gaps, and suddenly a sleek rainbow appeared, stretching felinelike into the beyond. I hoped it was a good sign.

It almost felt like a prison escape; the last trials before freedom. I had been watching the first 6 shows from afar ... my friends had sent videos and I loved them for it, but it wasn’t the same as being there. Nothing comes close. So I really wanted to get out of my hometown, and on to the Morrissey tour.

Morrissey in Austin

But of course, the first hurdle: flight delays. And the added stress of having to make the next one, and the one after that, as it would take 3 flights, including a red eye to Toronto, to get down to Texas. Chattering nerves in my head could barely be quelled by cheapo airplane wine, notes of bitter sediment and fuel, but my heart was more joyful than it had been in months... I would be seeing Morrissey in less than 48 hours!

A wall of wet heat hits as I arrive in Dallas, and in Canadian confusion I wonder how mid-September can blaze like the dead of summer. Blasting down the freeway, we pass billboards screeching Jesus, shotguns, psychics, fast-food, and rows of sagging Texas-sized American flags. It’s all reminiscent of the culture shock of my last visit here in 2017.

The next morning, we arrive early at the venue to queue, as it is a general admission show. I’m second on the list but still nervous because I want a good spot on the barrier, and there are often unknowns... like how many doors will open at once? Will chaotic venue security lines make the queue go out of order? I can feel nerves biting at my fingertips like frost.

Doors open. I go through security quickly – no one is ahead of me – but then I’m faced with an older woman holding a ticket scanner. She aims the scanner's blinding red beam at my ticket. Blep. Nothing. She tries again... the beam searches hopelessly... still nothing. Uh oh.

“Maa’aam, your ticket doesn’t work,” she informs me, in Texan drawl.

“That’s impossible. I got it at the box office!” I retort, adrenaline and panic racing through my veins, for this would not be the first time I am faced with failing ticket scanners.

“Well you better get on back,” she replies, with devastating nonchalance.

The box office is outside the venue: no way am I losing precious minutes. I run past her, clutching my ticket and a pit wristband, and am rather impressed at my own daredevil assertiveness. Another triangular-haired woman wearing an usher’s vest waves with schoolmarm terseness insisting I must put my wrist band on before running down a confusion of stairs to the pit. “You must!” I feel as though I might black out... yet somehow the wrist band makes it on and my feet find their way to the barrier, Jesse’s side.

Rules. Sigh.

But I am here... I made it!

I’m standing next to two tour friends, one of whom hails from Austin, so this will be a home state show for her. We are abuzz with excitement, and being reunited is another element of tour that makes it so brilliant. Our collective memories from gigs past add to the euphoric atmosphere... I feel like I’m on the tip of a dream – is anything real?

Paul Banks and Brad Truax of Interpol

Huge scarlet letters on the stage backdrop read INTERPOL and a disco ball hangs in the darkness. Tonight is my first time seeing Interpol, and in all honesty I did not research them much before these gigs, so have no clue what to expect. They walk out, dressed head to toe in black suits like hip undertakers, and wordlessly begin picking echoing minor notes. The frontman, Paul Banks, sings reflectively, exuding shyness from behind his dark sunglasses, and wiry guitarist Kessler dances on the more uptempo songs in a quick-footed solo box-step. I am most captivated by Interpol’s rhythm section: tall, strapping Truax plays a wicked bass, with intricate lines and a deep groove, and Fogarino, wearing dad glasses, rages on drums with expert precision. On this first viewing, I like them quite a lot – and in upcoming shows I grow to downright love their sets, finding myself dancing and singing along... but this first night, all I can think of is how much I can’t wait to see Morrissey again.

Broadway was less than 5 months ago, but summer dragged.

After Interpol, the lights drop again and pre-show videos begin. Always an eye into Morrissey’s incredibly good taste, there is a mix of Bowie, Siouxie Soux, and the Ramones, while the rarer side includes an upbeat song I have never heard before called Loop Di Love, featuring a dude with dazzling sideburns parading down the street surrounded by a bevy of curvaceous hot pants girls. It is so seventies! And I’m here for it! My favourite new addition is Chilean force Mon Laferte, who sings Tu Falta De Querer with unbridled passion, tears streaming down her face.

The past several months of my life surge towards this moment, as giant James Baldwins look down from the backdrop, and waves of fog roll across the floor of the stage. It can’t be written or intellectualized in any way – and the moment just is. Morrissey emerges from backstage, with his hands in his pockets, a vision of simple elegance, and I’m sure all breath leaves me as my eyes drink him in and my heart catches itself.

As the band takes their positions, he walks towards the microphone, and lights bathe him in a champagne wash. He leans in, and sings, “You gave up the only one who ever loved you...” adding a slight country twang to his voice... and the band jumps into the driving first notes of You’re Gonna Need Someone On Your Side. Morrissey picks up a glittering tambourine and it dazzles and crashes rhythmically against the palm of his hand. Jesse’s guitar fuels fierce coolness, and Mando’s bassline rolls on devil-may-care swagger. How I’ve missed such energy. In a flash of silver, Morrissey flings the tambourine over his head – luckily impaling no one – and I squeak with delight!

Morrissey charms his setlist with a great balance of songs from both his older and newer catalogue, from Hairdresser On Fire’s busy scissors to I Wish You Lonely’s last tracked humpback whale. It is an entire embrace of various decades and tempos, yet always timeless.

Timeless: Jack the Ripper in Grand Prairie

“Well, it’s not that bad for a Wednesday night,” Moz quips and “we love yous” erupt from the volcanic depths of the pit. His silver quiff catches threads of light and he has grown it slightly longer, wisps now touch barely below his ears. The look suits him, especially in person, and he exudes distinguished style with a kiss of vintage cool. His broad shoulders are complemented by a deep navy suit jacket adorned with a large glittering “M” and various other pins, including a cat. He wears a charcoal blue dress shirt and dark wash jeans, and appears much younger than his 60 years; in fact, he is ageless. And ... allow me a moment to gush: he is dreamy.

Tonight’s set also includes songs from new covers album California Son, starting with an ethereal rendition of Jobriath’s Morning Starship. This will be my first time seeing Lady Willpower live, and Morrissey’s voice ranges from soft and compelling on the verses, to soaring romantic crooner on the chorus. And then – he moves towards my side of the stage, bending down to gently shake my hand, and my friend’s hand, and in an instant, time truly stops. I am beaming, happy, and as my heart swells, every moment leading up to this one suddenly makes sense.

Lady Willpower in Grand Prairie

From the reflective, melancholic stillness of Seasick Yet Still Docked under somber blue lights, to Something Is Squeezing My Skull’s uptempo charging chaos, the music captures a complex realm of human emotion. The brokenhearted’s wounds are cleansed, and the troubled outsider is somehow unified. Mundane, everyday existence, which doesn’t welcome such facets of emotion, is, in these moments, a distant memory, and our newly uncaged hearts sing.

For the encore, Morrissey returns to the stage in a light blue jacket, embroidered with crimson birds and flowers, and a dark blue Texas merch tee. He stands before floor-to ceiling Bruce Lees as strobe lights flicker and How Soon Is Now? guitars wail those familiar pulse-raising notes. His voice begins the son and heir verse, smooth and slow, but as the song climaxes, it intensifies, and he adds yelps and “no’s” and impassioned “nows!” It becomes impossible to tell if thunderous thumps are coming from the floor, my heart, or Matt’s bass drum as Morrissey tears his jacket off, and then, his Texas tshirt, tossing it into the urgent limbs of the crowd.

***

Austin shouts boldly: cacti continue to fascinate me, and lit-up strips of bars boom with energy and youth, while whiskered guys in cowboy or trucker hats serve overflowing whiskey shots. I take most of it in from the safety of corner tables, as I haven’t consumed enough to escape my overriding introversion. Even at 10 pm the air is heavy with heat, and as much as I’m having fun, my mind drifts to morning queuing.

A friend from New York arrives, and the next morning, hangovers and jetlag be damned, we line up early at the venue to discover we will be given numbered wrist bands and can go wherever we please until one hour before doors. This does not happen often, and feels practically luxurious. It’s a calming reprieve from faulty ticket scanners and frantic ultra-panic. Not to mention, outside, wind storms rattle the 100 degree heat with swirling eruptions of prickling desert dust.

Tonight, from centre barrier, for at least a few hours, I escape the complexities of my own head, as well as the drear and dread of the looming outside world. The night is some parts exultant celebration, some parts catharsis, while my free roaming senses and heart drink in every moment. I can never understand people who claim Morrissey is miserable: he’s witty, clever, and authentic. His lyrics reflect upon the pains of human life, of unrequited love, loneliness, depression, most certainly – but – such reflection is not a miserable thing; for me misery lies in the burying of true emotion, that strange, unnatural requirement of daily modern life that suffocates the soul. Here, for just a few hours, I feel free.

Morrissey in Austin wearing The Vest <3

How Soon Is Now? opens the set, roaring back at a roaring Texan crowd. Always one to notice Moz fashion, I am all heart-eyes to see him don the vest (waistcoat to Brits) in person for the first time. He wears the vest over a light blue button up shirt and dark wash jeans, complimented by a bold pearl rosary. “I am human and I need to be loved...” he sings, bending down to shake our hands, and I feel near-certain I am dreaming.

Songs from California Son truly sparkle live, and Morrissey describes the album as a celebration of American music, adding, “I know you think American music... well, I don’t know what you think really, but many people think it’s Michael Jackson, Twisted Sister, and it’s NOT.” Guffaws erupt at even the mention of Twisted Sister.

Familia - in Austin

“Familia, familia, familia,”and the band launches into Break Up The Family to a rapture of whistles, cheers, and screams. Morrissey’s smooth, powerful voice begins softly, accompanied by shimmering guitar chords and echoing percussion: “I want to see all my friends tonight.”

Another new addition to the set this tour is dark rocker Never Again Will I Be A Twin. From the deluxe edition of Low In High School, this bass and drum driven track lurches with cascading guitars and hauntingly pessimistic lyrics that bite back. It’s been one of my favourites since first listen, and played live it's a luxuriously eerie trip through the depths of despondency atop a pulsating tempo that pummels the chest. And yet – through such depths – it heals and exorcises in breathtaking minutes. It’s nothing short of otherworldly.

Melanie’s Some Say I Got Devil follows Twin, opening with Gustavo’s muted trumpet, while wisps of smoke frame Morrissey under a single spotlight. The lights switch from ice blue to fire, angel and devil, and Morrissey’s voice fills with emotion: “some say I got devil, some say I’m an angel...” as phrases swell onto another spiritual plane. The song is well suited to him, a Gemini who penned “I Am Two People,” and one who is so deeply loved by fans, yet so horribly maligned by the press. And still... amidst such contrasting response he is ultimately and beautifully human - himself. There is no one else like him. Stage lights drop... and he stands still as Gustavo’s piano fills the atmosphere...

“and all the things, that I have seen can be hidden in a part of my dreams,

gonna hide it in this dream...”

I can’t help but feel as if my heart is in my hands, eyes – everywhere... is time even existent?

For the last song, Morrissey returns to the stage, wearing a black James Dean t-shirt and a pale pink jacket. “Why do you come here, and why... oh why... why do you hang around?” he sings, and Suedehead dances in our ardent ears. He rips his t-shirt off, flinging it into the audience, and showers us with “I love yous,” before disappearing into the hot Texan night.

I’m not sure if my feet even touch the ground til several hours later.

Texan bird waiting for the
box office to open

*all photos by me.
special thanks to videographer basia_ana for helping where my memories gap